Getting over your past can be extremely difficult! and for some of you I know “difficult would be an understatement, “so many people are held back from being successful due to their past because they’re not able to overcome their pain and move on to better things.
The truth is the past is not where we should be, it’s gone! and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. So, while you are dwelling in your past, life is passing you by. Living in the present gives us the privilege of making new memories and having new experiences. This is something we need to take advantage of and accept that everything in life passes and nothing lasts forever.
Live for today and enjoy today as much as you can as it truly is a blessing to have. Think of everyday as a new chance to change and become a better person. Remember, where you are going to be a year or five years from now is a reflection of your present choices, so make wise and decent choices because your future depends on it. I’m going to list some helpful strategies to implement in your life to help you get over your past so you can start to embrace your future.
Learn From Your Past
Learning from the past is an absolute necessity if you want to have a positive future.
“Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it”- Edmund Burke.
But those who choose to simply forget the past also miss out on its full potential as it offers so much knowledge for the present. We must learn from our experiences whether they are good or bad. Our past is important because it has formed the person that we are today, I have always said if you truly want to know and understand a person then you must learn about their past, it’s as simple as that.
Understanding a person’s past can provide insight about the kind of individual that they are today. Giving you better knowledge about their behaviour and character. So how do we truly learn from our past? Well first of all, if you want to learn about anything at all it’s important to recognize and comprehend what learning strategies and styles best suits you because we all learn differently.
For example, I personally am more of a visual learner, although some people learn best in a group while others learn better alone. These are different learning styles and the sooner you understand how you learn best, the sooner you can apply it in your life and grow. Asking the right questions about our past can also give plenty of insight to why things are the way that they today and can help with letting go.
Make New Memories
It’s a wonderful thought knowing that you could still make some of the best years of your life. I know it’s hard to get rid of old memories, but we do have the choice to make new special ones whenever we can. So instead of wasting your time thinking about your old memories and disbeliefs, concentrate and focus on making a fresh start and doing the things that you love as each day brings new opportunities.
Our memory is an integral part of being human. Some philosophers have said it’s the mark of being a human being, as it can help shape the identity of a person, whilst also being a key factor in the ability to learn and process new information.
So how do we make new memories? We can do this by opening our mind and being willing to make new experiences. Also, by not letting fear hold us back from making new experiences! We must learn to cherish valuable moments over possessions as possessions are not what memories are made of.
Try enjoying and appreciating the simple things and not being so hard to please all the time. And also taking it slow to really enjoy life to the fullest without always being in a hurry. Problems come and go but you only have one chance to have today so make the most of it.
Stop Pointing Fingers
“Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on others. Your life can only change to the degree that you accept responsibility for”- Steve Maraboli
Pointing fingers is never a good idea! I have had huge problems with people who have refused to take responsibility for their actions. People will start to lose respect for you and it’s absolutely unacceptable to hurt anyone and think there won’t be any consequences. If you really want to get over your past and start to look forward, then the finger pointing must stop.
Sometimes it is easier to see other people’s mistakes rather than seeing our own mistakes in the mirror. We may not be able to change how others have treated us, but we can certainly change ourselves. I know it would be so refreshing to hear someone say “I screwed up! I’m sorry please forgive me and it won’t happen again” but the reality is there are very few people pointing the finger of responsibility at themselves!. Not everyone wants to be the bigger person and it takes real strength and courage to do so.
Take Time For Yourself
I am a big believer on “taking time out for yourself,” especially when needed and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it. I’m not saying it’s ok to ignore people, but I am saying, if you are always focused on external stimulation and just on your relationships with other people then you will end up missing opportunities for personal growth.
We need to learn to balance the time spent with others and the intensity of modern life, with the time we spend on ourselves. This is very important especially when trying to move forward. Taking some time alone will help you stay focused on bettering yourself and your inner needs, I even like to think of solitude as a vacation from others.
Healing is also a necessity if you want to be happy in your future, as we must learn to let go of anything that no longer serves us and is harming us.